Method to the Madness...

by Debbie Riggle

The following article illustrates the “behind the scenes” of what our ministry is all about. Pass it along to people who ask, “What really is Couple’s Night Out?”

Couple’s Night Out happens two Friday’s a month. Year round. In exchange for evenings out, couples agree to spend one night a quarter supervising the kids. Why would anyone want to baby-sit everyone else’s kids? Because of the five nights in a quarter that you DON’T have to baby-sit! A precious 3 1/2 hours of private adult time each time it’s your turn to go out.

To the casual observer who may be just walking by on a typical Couple’s Night Out evening, it seems like there’s an awful lot of chaos and commotion going on. Is there a method to all that madness? Who in the world would voluntarily commit to caring for and entertaining THAT many kids at one time?

Well, the casual observer needs to be informed that there are, in fact, twelve adults on duty who have the situation well in hand and under control. A gym full of kids, toys all over the place and/or a nursery full of unhappy toddlers isn’t the whole picture.What is missed is the very substance of Couple’s Night Out. This is something we do FOR each other and WITH each other, understanding that they do the same for us next time.

The casual observer doesn’t see the pre-planning that goes into a night of childcare. For example:

Someone has to arrange scheduling with the Parish in the first place to make sure the time and space is available
Someone has to call in advance to make sure the building is open and basketball goals are down.
Someone has to make sure the supplies for the evening are maintained— index cards, name stickers, pens, sticky-tack, medical information and consent forms
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Phone calls must be made to set up “jobs” for the evening— someone to bring snacks, someone to organize a craft appropriate for 30-40 kids, someone to bring an age appropriate video, someone who is willing to take on a group of kids in a game of HORSE (with the idea that the kids may actually legitimately win!)
Someone also has to determine who’s in charge of bathroom monitoring and who’s running the nursery care area
Someone has to keep track of the kids and couples as they come in and make sure an accurate count is maintained. (Seems most folks prefer to leave with the same number of kids they came in with!)

The casual observer doesn’t know about the…

Anticipation felt by a wife who’s spending just a little extra time getting herself ready for her “date” with her husband.
Most don’t know about the husband who thrills in planning just the right romantic spot to take her for dinner.
What about that new place that just opened in front of Lowes? Maybe a movie? Maybe just a little time alone at home with a pizza and a rented movie?
Most don’t know about the couples who have been needing just a little time without the distraction of little ones to make a major purchase at Best Buy, Kittle’s Furniture, or the Ford dealership down the street.
Most don’t know about the home projects that are able to be accomplished in half the time: painting the family room—organizing that annoying closet—packing for the upcoming family vacation—paying the bills.Mundane tasks that can be put to rest so much quicker if you don’t have to stop and get someone a drink of water or settle a sibling argument.

As a group, look at what our ministry has given back. For many young couples and families, this organization may be their first introduction to any group at Our Lady of Grace parish.What a way to get to know about our faith community! Some are new to the parish and hear about other ministries through interactions with other couples.

CNO accepted responsibility for staffing and supplying the food for the American Food Tent at the Parish Festival, organizing and running the Easter Egg Hunt, preparing and delivering appetizers for parish celebrations, ministry fair participation—not to mention maintaining a constant group of 36 couples (yep, there’s still a waiting list) who reap the real benefits of the program. A night out, sure.

But what about the chances…

To meet and get to know others here at Our Lady of Grace parish who, like you, have little ones in tow 24/7/365. Since date “switching” happens so often, it’s rare that you’re working tonight with the same group you were with last quarter.
To meet new people and make new friendships—not only with other couples, but for the kids as well.
To work together to maintain a friendly and fun atmosphere for the kids while they’re in our care—knowing that next Friday, someone else will go that extra mile as well. The assurance that you’re not only getting a night out, but you’re leaving your most precious, God-given treasures in a safe and caring environment— our parish home. And, for the most part, all of this happens at little or no cost to participants—just the commitment of their time one night a quarter, and occasional contributions to the “Tip Jar”. With a group this size, a little from each goes a long way!

The casual observer doesn’t see the couples leaving the building hand-in-hand. Did he actually open the car door for her? They don’t see the benefits of having one-on-one conversation with a spouse, uninterrupted, without having to stop and cut up someone’s food, take someone to the potty, or tell a little one to “Please, for the last time, stop climbing out of the booth!” Decisions and plans are made, arguments are put to rest, memories are renewed, and marriage is refreshed. Couples rarely return without a smile on their faces, arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand once again. Ready to take tired-out kids home and end their evening. That feeling, when leaving the building at 10pm, is why we do it. Most of us know that we can handle anything for 3 hours in exchange for 5 nights out ALONE. That’s 20 nights a year! However you look at it, for those of us with two, three, four (or more!) kids, the rewards are SO worth it.